DAFT CODGER RAG (apologies to Phil Ochs)

Well, I'm just a typical Boomer boy,
Born in the days of Truman;
I used to think my health was good
For a '50s-vintage human.
Now my best friend's on a walker,
My wife rides in a wheelchair,
We're living on Social Security
And all our doctors take Medicare.

   Well, I'm just 69, got compression of the spine
   And I live with a registered nurse.
   I got eyes like a bat and my feet are flat
   And my asthma's gettin' worse.
   My right hip's bum, my feet are numb,
   I'm getting deaf as a post; 
   And my bladder keeps waking me up all night,
   But I think I'm doing better than most.

I tried to schedule a checkup
With my favorite PCP,
But I had to cancel 'cause it conflicted
With my physical therapy.
So what else is new? I'm in the queue
To get hernia surgery,
I said that's great, but it'll have to wait 
Until my colonoscopy.
[CHORUS]

I've had CAT scans, echocardiograms,
MRIs and EKGs,
Cortisone in my hips and shoulders,
And they want to replace my knees.
I take Lipitor and Allegra,
Tylenol and Ventolin,
I'm friends with the clerks at the CVS
And they wave when I walk in.
[CHORUS]

They tell me cats can have nine lives
And Time Lords regenerate;
And how many new STAR TREKs have we had
Since 1968?
But more and more of my old friends 
Are six feet underground,
So I guess I'll just wheeze and rub my knees
Till my time comes around.
[CHORUS]